How to Let Go of Anger and Become the Person You Want to Be
We’re all in the process of becoming someone. The question is: Do you like the direction you’re heading?
For many of us, anger is a signal that something deeper needs attention—a need not being met, a boundary being crossed, or a life that’s drifted off-course. If you’re struggling to let go of frustration or resentment, the first step might not be about managing the emotion itself—but asking some deeper questions about the life you’re building.
Here’s how I walk myself (and clients) through evaluating that:
1. Reflect on Who You're Becoming
Are you proud of the person you're becoming? Over time, we pick up habits, attitudes, even speech patterns from our parents or surroundings. Some are worth keeping; others need to be released. Anger often shows up when we feel stuck in a version of ourselves that no longer fits.
2. Take Inventory of Your Life Quarterly
Letting go of anger requires looking at the root causes, not just the emotion itself. Every quarter, ask yourself:
How are your relationships? Are you present, connected, and fulfilled?
How is your work life? Are you challenged, excited, or just enduring it?
How is your body and movement? Are you active, rested, and grounded?
3. Identify the Gaps
Where is the anger actually coming from? A lack of rest? Poor communication with a partner? Feeling stuck professionally? When you can name the gap, you can begin to address it—and that starts the release process.
4. Set One or Two Clear Commitments
Decide what you’re going to shift this month. Whether it’s reconnecting with someone, starting therapy, or finally making a career move—small, intentional change brings momentum.
5. Involve Others in the Process
You can't do this alone. Anger thrives in isolation. Bring in a therapist, a trusted friend, or a partner to help you stay accountable.
Letting go of anger isn’t about stuffing it down. It’s about understanding where it comes from and building a life that feels aligned, purposeful, and peaceful.
Need help with that journey? I offer therapy for men in California, Oregon, Texas, and in-person in Fayetteville, GA through Momentum Collection.
Let’s talk.