4 Unexpected Ways to Deal with Fear (Starting with Finding People Who Inspire You)

When fear shows up—whether in your personal life, career, or relationships—it can be paralyzing. We all encounter fear, but how we respond to it defines the direction of our growth. If you’ve been wondering how to deal with fear, the answer might not be what you expect.

Sometimes, courage comes not from looking inward, but from looking around. From finding inspiration. From watching someone else walk through the fire first—and realizing you can, too.

For me, it started with a man named Jerry Don.

The Power of a Role Model

I was a kid in the late ‘80s, and Jerry Don was everything I wanted to be. He was my dad’s friend, an Army veteran with tattoos, a curly mullet, and a single earring. He ran the spotlight at the Amarillo Civic Center and would take me along when big events like the WWF rolled into town.

To first-grade me, Jerry Don wasn’t just cool—he was magnetic. I begged my mom for a mullet and pierced ears. We compromised on black Vans and a magnetic lightning bolt earring I could wear after school. In my eyes, I was practically unstoppable.

But what mattered most wasn’t the earring or the soda-fueled nights at the Civic Center. It was that I had someone to look up to. Someone who made me feel brave. Someone who showed me a version of manhood that was bold, kind, and a little bit rebellious.

And that made a lasting impact.

How to Deal with Fear: Start by Looking Around

Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to have mentors and guides—both formal and informal—who have helped me push past fear and toward growth. They didn’t eliminate the fear. They just reminded me it could be faced.

If fear is holding you back right now, here are a few practical ways to confront it and move forward:

1. Find People Who Inspire You

One of the most powerful tools for facing fear is simply watching someone else go first.

Look for people who:

• Have already done the thing you’re afraid to try

• Carry themselves with the kind of strength or grace you admire

• Speak the truth in a way that resonates with you

Whether it’s a coach, friend, spiritual guide, or even a public figure, inspiration reminds us that fear isn’t the end of the story.

2. Reflect on the People Who’ve Shaped You

Often, the clues to overcoming fear are already in our past. Who are the people who poured into you when you needed it most? What did they say or do that stuck with you?

Their lessons—whether bold or subtle—can become anchors in the present.

3. Be Open to Mentorship (and Mentoring)

Maybe you’re searching for guidance. Or maybe you have something to offer someone else. Either way, connection is key.

Try this:

• Reach out to someone you admire and ask for a conversation

• Offer encouragement or perspective to someone a few steps behind you

• Join a community or professional group that fosters authentic relationships

Fear shrinks when you're walking beside someone else.

4. Remember Who You’ve Been

Fear has a funny way of making us forget what we’ve already overcome. That scared first grader? He showed up anyway—with black Vans and a fake earring—and watched heroes walk through a spotlight. That kid still lives in you.

You’ve already done hard things. You can do this, too.

Final Thoughts

If you’re trying to figure out how to deal with fear, don’t try to do it in isolation. Find someone who inspires you. Remember the people who’ve shaped you. Step into community. And never underestimate the power of showing up for someone else.

Sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is simply to open your heart and start looking around.