4 Lessons I Learned About Life from My First Male Role Model

When we talk about male role models, we often picture someone famous—a coach, an athlete, a leader. But sometimes, the most powerful influences in our lives come from people who quietly show up and leave a lasting impression.

I’ve been thinking lately about a man I admired deeply as a kid. His name was Jerry Don, and long before I understood the concept of mentorship or masculinity, he became one of my earliest role models. Looking back, I realize how much he shaped my perception of confidence, character, and connection.

Here’s the story—and four lessons I learned from him that still guide me today.

1. Role Models Don’t Have to Be Perfect

Jerry Don wasn’t a celebrity or a CEO. He was my dad’s friend—a Vietnam veteran who ran the spotlight at the Amarillo Civic Center. He had bold tattoos, a curly mullet, and an earring. To a first grader growing up in the late ‘80s, he was the definition of cool.

I wanted to be just like him. I begged my mom for a mullet and earrings. We compromised on a pair of black Vans and a magnetic lightning bolt earring I could wear after school.

He wasn’t polished or conventional, but he was kind, present, and unapologetically himself. He showed me that male role models can come in all forms—and that authenticity matters more than image.

2. Real Connection Is Built Through Shared Experience

One of Jerry Don’s jobs was running the spotlight during events at the Civic Center. Whenever the WWF came to town, he’d bring me along to “help.” I had unlimited popcorn, soda, and a backstage pass to the action. I’ll never forget the time Jake the Snake walked out of the tunnel—I was in awe.

But more than the excitement, what stuck with me was the connection. He brought me into his world. He shared what he loved. And in doing so, he made me feel seen.

Whether it’s with a child, a mentee, or a peer, male role models create trust by inviting others into meaningful experiences.

3. Influence Often Happens in the Background

Jerry Don never gave me a lecture or sat me down for a talk about life. His influence came through quiet presence, consistent kindness, and simply being himself. That’s how a lot of great role models operate—they don’t even realize the impact they’re making.

Over the years, I’ve had other mentors—men and women—who’ve helped shape my character. Some of them likely never knew the weight their words or actions carried. But their influence remains.

If you’re wondering whether you’re “qualified” to be a role model, know this: someone’s always watching. Sometimes, just showing up is enough.

4. You Can Be a Role Model Without a Title

Today, I think often about how to pay that influence forward. Whether you're actively mentoring someone or just being present in your community or family, your example matters.

If you’re searching for a role model—or wondering how to become one—start here:

• Be consistent in how you show up

• Share your story and your experiences

• Look for opportunities to invest in someone younger or less experienced

• Be willing to listen more than you speak

You don’t need a title to be a male role model. You just need to care.

Final Thoughts

I lost that magnetic earring somewhere along the way, but I still wear black Vans—and I still carry the lessons I learned from Jerry Don.

When we think about male role models, let’s expand the definition. Let’s honor the quiet influence, the behind-the-scenes support, and the everyday heroes who shape our lives without fanfare.

And maybe, let’s be that for someone else.