3 Practical Ways to Make Friends as an Adult (Even in a New City)
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why it feels so difficult to make friends as an adult, you’re not alone. I talk about this with clients all the time. So many of us are craving deeper connection, meaningful relationships, and a sense of community—but we’re struggling to find it.
So why is making new friends in adulthood such a challenge?
The Social Circles of Our Younger Years
When we’re in school—whether high school, college, or beyond—we’re naturally surrounded by people who have a lot in common with us. We live nearby, take the same classes, cheer for the same teams, and are typically in similar life stages. That built-in overlap makes it much easier to form friendships organically.
Once we enter the workforce, though, that common ground becomes less obvious. Our coworkers may be in very different life stages or financial situations. As we build our careers, we lose the structured environments that made it easy to find “our people.”
And if you’ve moved to a new city as an adult? The challenge can feel even more daunting.
Starting Fresh: My Move to Atlanta
After 23 years on the West Coast, I recently moved to the Atlanta area. In just a few days, I left behind nearly all of my close friends and professional connections—2,176 miles away. I’ve landed in a place where I’m actively working to build community and a professional network from the ground up.
Here are three things I’m doing to create connection and find a sense of belonging:
1. Say “Yes” More Often
One simple but powerful shift I’ve made: saying yes more.
That means saying yes to:
Coffee meetings with acquaintances
Local networking events
Community activities or interest groups
Each time I say yes, I open the door to connection. Even if it feels a little awkward at first, showing up matters.
2. Embrace Vulnerability
Being the new person is never easy—especially if you're naturally introverted. But I’ve realized that putting yourself out there is the only way to build meaningful relationships.
For me, that looks like:
Initiating conversations
Being honest about being new in town
Admitting I’m looking to connect and build a network
Vulnerability feels risky, but it’s also the key to authentic connection.
3. Join a Fitness Community
I’ve always been into fitness, but mostly on my own. It turns out that doing solo workouts in your garage doesn’t lead to many new friendships.
Now, I’m exploring group fitness options like:
CrossFit
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ)
Both offer built-in communities where people show up consistently and support each other’s growth—an ideal environment for new connections.
The Bottom Line
Making friends as an adult is hard. But it’s also entirely possible. Whether you’re new to a city, shifting careers, or simply looking to grow your circle, community doesn’t just happen—you have to build it.
What about you?
Why do you think forming friendships in adulthood is so challenging? What strategies have worked for you?
